Transcript
The next cat that we got came to us in an odd way. I guess all of our cats kind of came to us in an odd way, but this one was supposed to be a dog. We decided that Tolken needed company and we decided that we’d get a small dog. A small dog because we were living in an apartment, and we didn't think that it would be a good idea to get a big dog.
So the local no-kill shelter was doing dog adoptions at the mall that weekend, and Martha and I went down to get a dog. And we went around looking at all the small dogs in the cages there at the mall and none of them seemed quite right. We get to this one cage though and there was a big fluffy male cat in this cage and he had a lot of personality, we stood there talking to him. And one of the people from the adoption agency came over and said, “You know, he's got a great story” and we said, “Oh, please tell us his story.” And she said, he'd been on death row at the Birmingham Animal Shelter when the local medical college had come in and taken all the cats that were on death row to do experiments on.
And the way they did that was they’d go and they’d use the cats in medical experiments. And then when they finished with them, they’d put them down. Well, somebody really liked this cat and so they’d stolen him out of the medical college’s experimental labs and brought him to the no-kill shelter where he was neutered and thus he was there on that day in the mall. When I heard this story, this was the first time I can remember falling in love with something because of the story - what a phenomenal story. And Martha leaned down to this cat and said, “You want to go home with us?” and he rolled over on his back and went prrtt. And so, of course, he went home.
We asked what his name was, and she said his name was Tigger, which was the name of every third cat there. So, we needed a different name. I was the editor of the college newspaper and one of the underground comics that I published was called Fat Freddy's Cat. And kind of like how Frankenstein's monster becomes Frankenstein over time, well Fat Freddy's cat became Fat Freddy the Cat and so Fat Freddy got his name.
Now, Fat Freddy was an unusual cat. He ran like a rabbit with his back legs together, and if you accidentally hurt him, say you got his paw caught in the door or something completely unintentional, all the light would drain out of his eyes and he would stare at your throat and begin slowly moving forward, stalking you. And there were multiple times that I was there with a pillow in front of me going “Freddy, calm down, calm down. It was an accident Freddy. I'm sorry. Good kitty.” Finally to see this hatred drained from his face and this loving cat return, but he was a different animal when he got hurt.
The other thing about Freddy was he enjoyed being the center of attention. Martha had an internship she had to do in another city. While she was gone, I took in a roommate. So David and I were working for the Census Bureau, and we could keep whatever hours we wanted to, so we’d play bridge. We'd invite another student over and one of the professors would come over and play bridge with us as well. You have to get the table setting, right. You have a hand of cards down on the table. You got three beers on the table, at least, maybe some empties there as well. You've got a glass and you’ve got a bottle of Jack Daniels, and an overflowing cigarette ashtray because, of course, he was an art professor that was one of the few professors that would hang out with students and play bridge. So that table, very full, this cat would come sailing into the middle of it and knock everything everywhere. We’d be scrambling trying to keep things from pouring out on the floor and grabbing stuff and getting it back. Four angry guys would turn back to this cat that’s now sitting on the table, and he’d roll over and he’d go prrtt and just cause everyone to melt, to forgive him, and he did it multiple times. You'd think we'd learn that this is what he was gonna do.
Another thing about this cat, and this is important to remember because it's true of many animals, if anyone ever tells you that animals don't have sense of humor, you need to leave their presence immediately because they are either a fool or a liar. Animals have great senses of humor and this cat, Freddy, had a wonderful one. Among his many jokes was his favorite, and I gotta say it was kind of my favorite, too. Freddy would come in the early morning and get down at the bottom of the bed and he’d stand on his back paws and he’d put his claws up on either side of Martha's foot. It was always Martha.
He would never do this to me, showing he was also a very smart cat. But he would slowly extend his claws, so slowly that it would be just an irritation and then a minor pain before it became a sharp pain and Martha would sit up in bed shrieking as the cat ran merrily from the room. And he did that so often that she had to get a squirt bottle and try to squirt him as he ran from the room to break him of it.
When guests came, we would warn them, close your door, make sure you close your door. But because of the time of year, because they would get the wrong temperature or whatever, inevitably they would leave their door open. And in the morning, we would hear this hail of profanities being hurled at this cat as he ran from the room, having played this trick on whomever.
He was a great cat. He and Tolken were surrogate children for us, so when he developed cancer, Martha drove him hours to Raleigh in North Carolina because that was the closest place we could get cancer treatment for a cat back in the 80s. Now it's pretty common, but back then it wasn't. And it bought us a year to say goodbye to one of my favorite animals in this world, Fat Freddy. And when Freddy passed away, a little bit of light left the world, and if you've ever wondered what the animal embodiment of Loki or Puck any other trickster besides a coyote might be, it would be Fat Freddy the cat. He was a great cat.
I hope you enjoyed his story. I hope you'll join me next time for Bits & Peaces.
Thank you, take care.